When you first think about homeschooling, you might wonder if you’ll be the only one in your area.  However, with the ever growing number of homeschooling families, that is not likely.  Finding other homeschoolers, however, may not always be easy.  You just need to know where to look.

One place you will probably find other homeschoolers is at local churches.  Although all homeschoolers aren’t Christians, and it certainly isn’t a requirement to homeschool,you may find that many homeschoolers are.  If you don’t currently attend services, you might consider attending a couple of services to see if there are homeschoolers at the local church.

Besides churches, another place to find a homeschooling family would be the public library.  Many homeschoolers use the library as a source for learning materials.  Go to the library and see if you find children there during normal school hours.  If you find children, most likely they are homeschooled and a parent is sure to be nearby.  You could also ask the librarian if she knows of any homeschoolers.  Most likely she will because they will be some of her best patrons.

If you take your kids to the park during school hours, you’ll probably run into at least one homeschooling family there enjoying the sunshine and fresh air.  Or they might be picking up leaves for a nature book, or finding other items to use in a school project.  In any case, local parks are a great place to find homeschoolers.

You might find a homeschooling family at the grocery store while you’re doing your own shopping.  Many homeschoolers use real life circumstances to teach rather than just depending on books.  So, if you see children standing around the meat freezer with calculators, it’s likely they’re doing comparison shopping for their math lesson.

The Internet is another place to find homeschoolers in your area.  Try doing a search on one of the common search engines for “homeschool groups (your city).”  If that doesn’t work, expand your search to include your county and then your state.  Since there are homeschoolers in every state of the union, surely you’ll find someone close by.  On the outside chance that you don’t find anyone locally, don’t give up.  You can still find support online through any number of Yahoo homeschooling groups.

When searching for homeschooling families locally, don’t be afraid to approach a family that you see out and about during school hours.  Most homeschoolers are used to being asked why their children aren’t in school.  They probably won’t be offended and asking questions is a great way to meet new acquaintances.  Keep an eye out for them; you may find there are more homeschoolers in your area than you first thought.

Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara

Speed Dating

I am a 19-year-old college freshman who has never been married. I am actually dating my first boyfriend, but that is by choice, because I never wanted to be a part of the high school drama scene. I wanted a mature relationship that transcended all that.

However, I seem to have gotten myself far too deeply into something I am not ready for. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost three months. He?s 21, and we get along wonderfully. I am not his first girlfriend, but the first girlfriend he ?really wanted.?

Just a few days into our relationship, he told me he loved me, and kept saying it, though I never responded in kind. After four weeks, I did finally tell him I loved him. I thought I meant this. However, since then, he?s come to mention quite often plans for the future. Plans such as marriage after we both finish college, children, names for those children, and more.

I am not ready for this. I cannot definitely say I want to spend the rest of my life with him, though he is completely enamored with me. I?m also worried, because I have not known how to respond, and in saying nothing, I believe he has read my assent.

I am truly scared I?ve led him on. This is not something I can accept of myself, since I honestly do care for him. I don?t want to hurt him, but I will continue to lead him on if I don?t say anything.

Bobbi

Bobbi, ancient artists drawing on cave walls didn?t sign their work. They couldn?t because they didn?t have a written language. Instead they put their hand against the cave wall, took color in their mouth, and blew. The outline of their hand is the mark they left for us.

Lovers also leave a mark?on each other. When your boyfriend said ?I love you,? he put his mark on you. When you said it back to him, you put your mark on him, even though you had your doubts. The problem with marks is, if love isn?t there on both sides, then the relationship has missed the mark.

In sociology there is a term called the ?norm of social reciprocity.? That simply means we feel obligated to give back to others what they give to us. It?s called a norm because if we violate it, if we don?t give back, we feel we have done something wrong.

When social reciprocity involves sharing or being polite, there is nothing wrong with it. But it has a dark side. It can be used to take advantage of us. When your boyfriend kept saying ?I love you,? it created the expectation that you had to say it back to him. Eventually you succumbed.

?I love you? is also an implied promise. It says I will behave in certain ways toward you, now and in the future. Since people are supposed to stick to promises, you feel bad about pulling back now. But if you don?t, you will grow weaker as a person, and farther from your true feelings.

You went to college to learn things, and one of the most valuable things you can learn is how to say no. You have a chance, through your education, to secure your future. That is an opportunity many young women don?t have. So grab that brass ring and put it in your pocket, knowing that economic freedom gives a woman the power to make wise decisions all of her life.

One of the marks of maturity is the ability to do the right thing, even though it is a hard thing. We totally understand not wanting to trifle with another, but if your boyfriend has moved too far forward, that?s on him. The norm of social reciprocity is no substitute for the mark of genuine love.

Wayne & Tamara

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com