Two year olds get a bad rep. Everywhere you look and listen you read and hear about the so-called “Terrible Twos.” To be fair, many young tots are going through a phase of disequilibrium at age 2 1/2, according to many child development experts.

Add to that the fact that most parents are trying to potty train at this age, and Mom may be pregnant or already have another child, and it’s no wonder the 2’s can be a bit challenging.

Here are a few tips to help you deal with your toddler and even enjoy this phase!

1) Remember that a toddler is nothing more than a baby on wheels.
Meaning, toddlers are active and can get into a whole lot of trouble, fast… yet they’re still so immature emotionally. That’s why tantrums are so common at this age. Toddlers have a hard time dealing with the overwhelming emotions they experience. Reading about the developmental milestones children are reaching at this age can help.
2) Don’t forget babywearing. Or perhaps we should call it Toddlerwearing!
Wearing your 2 to 3 year old in a soft cloth carrier, backpack or sling can still be a huge lifesaver. When your toddler is tired, overstimulated or otherwise out of sorts, wearing them will help them to settle down and maybe even go to sleep! The same is certainly true of breastfeeding. Dubbed “baby Prozac” by many, nursing can soothe the boo-boos and help a reluctant napper settle down.
3) Take care of Mom.
By the time the baby is a toddler, we moms often expect life to get back to “normal”. We think that we should have it all together, be back at our prepregnancy weight, and have the house spotless like it was before baby came into the picture. This is unrealistic, especially for a mom who is expecting another baby and caring for a 2 year old! Life with a toddler is often more fatiguing because toddlers are heavier, require more supervision and discipline, and now that they’re mobile they create much more housework too!
Mom would do well to not expect too much of herself and to make sure she’s taking a break from her duties once in awhile.  Most toddlers are getting closer to their Dads and Grandparents, so asking these loving people to take over for a few hours so you can read a book, exercise or nap is a priority.

If a child acts up by poking, kicking or likewise attacks another child. The parent snatches, him or her by the arm and slaps him or her for hitting the other child. Hold up there’s something totally wrong with this scenario.

Spanking tends to teach children that violence is the answer, to behavioral problems. Basically when we talk about discipline we are talking about behavior that we would like to remedy in our children. What better way to teach our children then to behave in a manner that is considered respectful, fair and suitable.  Slapping or spanking a child is a behavior not considered respectful or civil therefore why would we subject our children to such “behavior”?

There are many advocates for corporal punishment (spanking) that argue that children who misbehave (or seriously misbehave) will only respond to spanking and that parents who do not spank such kids alledgely“spoil” them.  As mentioned above, spanking teaches kids that violence is all right.

As a matter of fact Dr. Phil McGraw, notes on his website (www.drphil.com) that research has shown that “long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency.”

In many cases parents spank their children because they simply don’t have any ideas or approaches to stop the misbehavior that does not include spanking. Many parents simply raise their children in the manner that they were raised. Often times parents do things without even being aware that they are repeating a behavior they were taught as a child.

So how do parents break the “spanking cycle”?  A good way is to become knowledgeable about the alternative ways of discipline. These alternatives may be more time consuming and frustrating but no one ever said parenting was easy.

Take the time to talk to your child.  It may take a while for your child to respond to “talking” but with consistency and determination in your approach it can be a much more rewarding, and educational moment for both you and your child.{esspecially if you have never used the “talking method before”}

Whether the child is 3 or 9, taking the time to express and communicate your displeasure with a behavior problem is a rich learning moment.  It may not feel that way at the time, but by honestly and sincerely expressing your discontent in language that reaches your child, you are showing real concern and engaging your child in a way that teaches him respect and good communication.

The consistent show of respect and patience in listening to your child explain his behavior will teach your child the importance of dignity and compassion during those times when it matters most.

You don’t have to be perfect as a parent; you just have to be willing to take each disciplinary experience as a learning one for you and your child.