Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara

Prying Eyes

Okay, so I’m going to be 25 this summer, and I have lots of best friends.  One of them is 35.  She’s so cool and is super easy to talk to about crushes and stuff.  The problem is I know her dad’s side of the family really well, but I don’t know much about her mom’s side.

She wasn’t that close to her mom till she had her baby, and now she has gone back to not mentioning her mom much.  For some reason my friend doesn’t like her stepdad.  She never mentions him ever.  For the longest time I didn’t even know their names, and I only met them once.

You’re probably thinking I could just ask her.  You see, though, most of this I only know from her grandma who is like a grandma to me.  That’s  how we met.  Her parents divorced when she was seven, and she lived with her dad growing up.  I know it’s none of my business, but it would be nice if she could trust me with it.

My friend lives a couple of hours away, so I don’t see much of her.  I don’t feel like asking her grandma.  I shouldn’t let it bother me, but I have so many questions and I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by asking.

Joni

Joni, we live in a world where you can go online and find a satellite picture of any stranger’s house, peek at their legal records, or hire a private investigator to ferret out their personal information.  Those activities aren’t driven by altruism, but by baser motives.

So the first question you might ask yourself is, why do I want to know?  Your friend isn?t suicidal, on the edge, or depressed.  Just the reverse.  Her life is in order.  Why do you need to know more about her background than she has already shared?

Many people consider family to encompass everyone they are related to, biologically or through marriage.  For others, however, family is the emotional network they were raised in.  That seems to be your friends view.  One thing is clear: you don’t have a true need to know, and a sure way to lose a friendship is by being snoopy and overstepping bounds.

There is something creepy about the employee who wants a key to the business the second day on the job, and some of the most frightening movies, like Single White Female and The Talented Mr. Ripley, aren’t about chainsaw massacres.  They are about a person who tries to invade a life.

We say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but we don’t acknowledge that people who try to learn too much about us trigger our fears.  We fear sharks because they can eat our body, but those who try to get too close may make us feel they are consuming our soul.

The historian Felipe Fernandez-Armesto has suggested the earliest human idea?an idea far older than the first written records?is cannibalism.  That sounds shocking, but he explains that our ancestors around the world rarely practiced cannibalism for nourishment.  Rather they did it in a ritual fashion to take on the prowess of those they admired or regarded highly.

If he is correct, then the idea of incorporating into ourselves as much as we can about a respected person is deep within us.   Perhaps that is why advertisers use Tiger Woods or David Beckham to get us to purchase products.   Paparazzi try to steal images of famous people, and tabloids dig up dirt on them.  When tabloids cannot find dirt, they make the dirt up.

We don?t think that describes you, but neither do we see a reason for you to look into your friend’s background.  Friendship is not something to tamper with.  Her example as a person and the warmth of her light should be enough for any true friend.

Wayne & Tamara

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers,  PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com .

Product Name: Fisher-Price Digital Arts & Crafts Studio
Rating: 8
Where to buy: Fisher-Price Digital Arts & Crafts Studio 

Designed for children ages 4 to 9 this arts and craft studio plugs right into your home computer and gives your children hours and hours of fun art and craft activities to do all on their own. 

 Being a mom of 3 very lively children I wanted to find something they could do that would occupy their time, but would also help them learn to use their creativity.  Knowing Fisher Price I felt I could find just that with them.  I found this great studio and it keeps the kids occupied for hours.

This wonderful invention plugs right into my home computer.  It has 85 different projects that my children can tackle with very little struggle.  It’s easy to understand for all of them and they have fun making and creating all different types of arts and crafts.

Included in this studio is the base that the kids can see their creations come to life on.  It also includes CD software and a USB cable making it easy to set up and use.  The software includes over 250 different colors, 300 stampers and over 70 scene starters.  There is no end to what the kids can make and do.

The stylus is capable of being used as a pencil, a stamper and even more.  With things such as connect the dots, party hats and greeting cards, my children can make things that amaze them and all our family and friends.  It’s so easy for them to use, which makes it fun. 

There are things such as coloring pages, flying airplanes and leaping frogs they can play, color and create.  The software that comes with this studio is just filled full of all types of different activities.  You can also purchase other software that can take their creations to new levels.  Their imagination can run wild.

They also can save and print their creations with no problems.  Best of all you have parental controls so nothing on your computer can be jeopardized by those inquisitive little minds and fingers.  They have total control of their own table and pencil while you have control of the PC.

Children need to be able to let their imaginations go and to use that imagination to create their own ideas.  This studio allows them to do that.  I no longer hear “I’m bored.” or “Why can’t we watch TV or play video games?”  For hours and hours of fun, try this arts and craft studio.  Your children will be glad you did. 

Earth Day, which is on April 22nd, is an annual celebration of the environment and learning to improve our world.  Taking some time as a family to celebrate Earth Day is not only educational, but fun as well.  There are many cities that host Earth Day activities. Check and see what is offered locally.

Visit your local zoo and see the animals in their environments.  The zoo will probably have educational programs planned, as well as fun activities for the entire family.  It can be a great way to spend the day.  Some zoos even offer free admission, or free admission if you either take public transportation or ride your bike to the zoo. 

As you make your way through the zoo, you can talk about how the ecology of one area of the world affects another.  Discuss with your family how we benefit from things like the plants from the rain forest and how important it is to preserve them.

Why not spend the day at the local botanical gardens? Not only are the plants beautiful, but your family can learn about how we benefit from the plants.  Plants provide food, medicines and oxygen. They also provide ground cover that helps prevent erosion and flooding.  After visiting the gardens, it might be fun to plant your own garden at home. Research the plants that will be the best for your climate.  It will be a great family activity that will last beyond Earth Day and will be a reminder to help care for the planet as you care for your own garden.

Planning fun activities at home is also a great way to celebrate Earth Day, as you will be saving gas by not traveling.  Reuse items from around the house to create clever crafts.  Turn off the TV, go outside and enjoy the fresh air, weather permitting, and have a picnic in the yard. 

 There are many websites that give additional ideas for celebrating Earth Day.  You can also find scheduled events for your hometown that can inspire other family fun that also helps the earth.

Rating: 9
Where to buy:  Raising Baby Green: The Earth-Friendly Guide to Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Care

Becoming environmentally healthy and raising your family that way is starting to become the norm.  With so many choices and so many companies trying to get us to see things their way it can be hard to know what is right for you and your newborn.  This book can help you with those decisions.

One of my biggest concerns with my new baby had to do with what products were safe and healthy for my child.  I hear so many stories about how they have found this product to be unsafe or how this food has caused a certain illness in children.  When I found this book I became a much better parent because I no longer worried if it was good or bad.

This book is very informative.  It gives you references and guides to a much healthier way of thinking and living.  It is written by an expert in the field of making the world safe for our children, which helps add to the trustworthiness.  I feel very comfortable taking the advice that is written in this book. 

It’s easy to read and understand.  The index is wonderful. No having to try to figure out where to find the information you need in a hurry.  The references are great because you know exactly where you need to go to find out more in-depth information if necessary.  It’s not preachy either.  The author gives you the information you need and then you decide if you want to pursue it or not.  Not one word about how you must do this or this is the only way.  I can make the choices I want because I now have all the knowledge I need to make the right choice for myself and my family.

If you are even thinking about raising your child in a natural, organic lifestyle I recommend you get this book.  The knowledge you will walk away with once you read it can only help you in making the right choices for you and your family.  Here’s to a new way of looking at a healthy life and environment! Let’s Raise Our Babies Green!

Rating: 10
Where to buy:  http://www.toysrus.com

 I spend a lot of time on my computer and my toddler has come to know that it can be fun and entertaining. I would cringe every time I walked into the room and saw him up on the computer chair banging away at the keys or playing with the mouse.  I decided to try and find one that would work for him and possibly help him learn also.  I went to LeapFrog because I know and trust their products. 

Click Start My First Computer was exactly what I was looking for.  It’s a small keyboard that plugs right into the TV.  The keyboard is great.  It’s bright, colorful and easy for my child to use.  It helps keep him interested and happy. 

The mouse is also great.  It converts so it can be used by either a right handed or left handed child.  I was thrilled because my son is left-handed.  It’s so very hard to find things that are so easy for him to use let alone the fact that I struggle trying to teach him how to work things because I’m right handed. He picked right up with mouse and no frustration was involved nor did he leave it because he just couldn’t make it work. 

I also like the idea of the TV screen for his monitor.  He doesn’t have to struggle trying to see what’s there.  He has a TV in his own room so he plays in there and feels like he has his own space and even some little boy freedom.

The pre-installed programs are great.  My son interacts with them and learns something new every time he plays.  He’s always running out to tell us what he has just learned or asking us to come watch him as he plays.  It’s great to see him so intent and engaged, but having fun at the same time. There are also other cartridges you can buy for this system so you never have to worry about your child becoming bored with the same ole same ole. 

I’ve always been able to count on LeapFrog and their products and this is no exception.  My child is learning while having fun.  I have the peace of mind knowing he is happy and much wiser while using a product I can trust.  The games are neat too.