People choose to homeschool for any number of reasons.  Some of those reasons include homeschooling for religious reasons, not subjecting their children to many new schools if they move a lot, or having a child with health issues that could be made worse by attending public school.  For whatever the reason, homeschooling is a great option.  Homeschooling does not have to begin when a child first starts school, you can start a child on their homeschool journey at any point in their school career.

Many people think that homeschooling must start at kindergarten.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  In fact, you can begin to homeschool your child at any age or in any grade.  When you begin homeschooling depends on when you’ve decided to take your child out of the public school system and bring them home to teach them.

While it may be easier to begin homeschooling right from the start, it isn’t unheard of for parents to pull their children out of school in any grade.  Depending on the student, parents may decide to teach when they’re starting high school.  It’s not unheard of in homeschooling communities to choose to homeschool as their child’s educational career is nearing a close.

One reason parents may choose to bring home a student starting high school is that the parents don’t feel their local school is safe.  With the possibility of being introduced to drugs and alcohol, parents may choose to keep their children from those influences.  They may also bring their child home because of the threat of violence on campus.  These and other issues may cause a parent to pull their high school student out of school to homeschool.

If unhealthy influences aren’t an issue, some parents decide that high school is the right time to homeschool because of opportunities that arise.  Some high school students are already in advanced classes, however if they homeschool, they may be able to attend some beginning college courses while still in high school. 

Another possible reason for bringing a child home while they’re in high school is so they can participate in a work-study program.  Whether they are interested in a work-study program, or an apprenticeship, public high school students may not be able to work these programs into their schedule.  As a homeschool student, however, they have the ability to work ahead and therefore may be finished with high school courses which will free them to pursue an apprenticeship position.

Homeschooling is an awesome opportunity for students, no matter what grade they begin.  Things may be easier on both the parent and the student if they begin homeschooling when the student is younger.  However, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring your child home as they near graduation.  Listen to your child, understand what they want to accomplish, and then let them spread their wings and fly.

If a child acts up by poking, kicking or likewise attacks another child. The parent snatches, him or her by the arm and slaps him or her for hitting the other child. Hold up there’s something totally wrong with this scenario.

Spanking tends to teach children that violence is the answer, to behavioral problems. Basically when we talk about discipline we are talking about behavior that we would like to remedy in our children. What better way to teach our children then to behave in a manner that is considered respectful, fair and suitable.  Slapping or spanking a child is a behavior not considered respectful or civil therefore why would we subject our children to such “behavior”?

There are many advocates for corporal punishment (spanking) that argue that children who misbehave (or seriously misbehave) will only respond to spanking and that parents who do not spank such kids alledgely“spoil” them.  As mentioned above, spanking teaches kids that violence is all right.

As a matter of fact Dr. Phil McGraw, notes on his website (www.drphil.com) that research has shown that “long-term consequences of spanking can include increased aggressiveness, antisocial behavior, and delinquency.”

In many cases parents spank their children because they simply don’t have any ideas or approaches to stop the misbehavior that does not include spanking. Many parents simply raise their children in the manner that they were raised. Often times parents do things without even being aware that they are repeating a behavior they were taught as a child.

So how do parents break the “spanking cycle”?  A good way is to become knowledgeable about the alternative ways of discipline. These alternatives may be more time consuming and frustrating but no one ever said parenting was easy.

Take the time to talk to your child.  It may take a while for your child to respond to “talking” but with consistency and determination in your approach it can be a much more rewarding, and educational moment for both you and your child.{esspecially if you have never used the “talking method before”}

Whether the child is 3 or 9, taking the time to express and communicate your displeasure with a behavior problem is a rich learning moment.  It may not feel that way at the time, but by honestly and sincerely expressing your discontent in language that reaches your child, you are showing real concern and engaging your child in a way that teaches him respect and good communication.

The consistent show of respect and patience in listening to your child explain his behavior will teach your child the importance of dignity and compassion during those times when it matters most.

You don’t have to be perfect as a parent; you just have to be willing to take each disciplinary experience as a learning one for you and your child.
 

If you are considering homeschooling your children, you might be apprehensive if you didn’t do well in school yourself.  Thankfully your success, or lack thereof, in school does not have to be an issue in choosing to homeschool.  In fact, you can take advantage of the time you’re teaching your child to brush up on some of the things you didn’t do so well with when you were in school.

Math is one subject that parents stress over when they choose to homeschool, especially if they struggled when they went to school.  Your struggles shouldn’t be a factor in choosing to homeschool.  If you weren’t good in math, remember you’ll have the teacher’s manual with the answers.  However, you may have to spend a little bit of time relearning, or learning anew, the concepts prior to trying to teach your child.  And remember, you can always turn to other homeschooling families to help you if you need it.

Another subject parents might not look forward to teaching is English.  Maybe you hated English and writing.  If you haven’t found a planned curriculum to use for English, you can find helpful books at the local library.  You can also find materials online, including worksheets and tests. 

Besides Math and English, another subject that parents worry about teaching is Science.  There are a number of good science curriculums available, some with all of the materials for experiments.  You’d be surprised just what you can find to use for free on the Internet.  In fact, you can even dissect a virtual frog instead of having to smell formaldehyde if that turned you off when you took Biology. 

Reading should be one of the easiest subjects.  Your children will learn to love reading if they see you and your spouse read, no matter the book.  Read books aloud with your child and then have them re-tell you the story in their own words.  If they are just learning how to read, one resource that is popular with homeschoolers is “Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons” by Siegfried Englemann, Phyllis Haddox, and Elaine Bruner.

It doesn’t really matter if you did well in school or not.  You don’t have to let how well you did keep you from teaching your children.  You can learn along with them to fill in the gaps in your own education.  If you come across something that you don’t understand, search out your homeschooling friends, they can probably help you.  Another option would be to see if you can find a local homeschool co-op.  In either case, you can make homeschooling a positive experience for yourself as well as your children.

Direct Answers from Wayne and Tamara

Prying Eyes

Okay, so I’m going to be 25 this summer, and I have lots of best friends.  One of them is 35.  She’s so cool and is super easy to talk to about crushes and stuff.  The problem is I know her dad’s side of the family really well, but I don’t know much about her mom’s side.

She wasn’t that close to her mom till she had her baby, and now she has gone back to not mentioning her mom much.  For some reason my friend doesn’t like her stepdad.  She never mentions him ever.  For the longest time I didn’t even know their names, and I only met them once.

You’re probably thinking I could just ask her.  You see, though, most of this I only know from her grandma who is like a grandma to me.  That’s  how we met.  Her parents divorced when she was seven, and she lived with her dad growing up.  I know it’s none of my business, but it would be nice if she could trust me with it.

My friend lives a couple of hours away, so I don’t see much of her.  I don’t feel like asking her grandma.  I shouldn’t let it bother me, but I have so many questions and I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by asking.

Joni

Joni, we live in a world where you can go online and find a satellite picture of any stranger’s house, peek at their legal records, or hire a private investigator to ferret out their personal information.  Those activities aren’t driven by altruism, but by baser motives.

So the first question you might ask yourself is, why do I want to know?  Your friend isn?t suicidal, on the edge, or depressed.  Just the reverse.  Her life is in order.  Why do you need to know more about her background than she has already shared?

Many people consider family to encompass everyone they are related to, biologically or through marriage.  For others, however, family is the emotional network they were raised in.  That seems to be your friends view.  One thing is clear: you don’t have a true need to know, and a sure way to lose a friendship is by being snoopy and overstepping bounds.

There is something creepy about the employee who wants a key to the business the second day on the job, and some of the most frightening movies, like Single White Female and The Talented Mr. Ripley, aren’t about chainsaw massacres.  They are about a person who tries to invade a life.

We say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but we don’t acknowledge that people who try to learn too much about us trigger our fears.  We fear sharks because they can eat our body, but those who try to get too close may make us feel they are consuming our soul.

The historian Felipe Fernandez-Armesto has suggested the earliest human idea?an idea far older than the first written records?is cannibalism.  That sounds shocking, but he explains that our ancestors around the world rarely practiced cannibalism for nourishment.  Rather they did it in a ritual fashion to take on the prowess of those they admired or regarded highly.

If he is correct, then the idea of incorporating into ourselves as much as we can about a respected person is deep within us.   Perhaps that is why advertisers use Tiger Woods or David Beckham to get us to purchase products.   Paparazzi try to steal images of famous people, and tabloids dig up dirt on them.  When tabloids cannot find dirt, they make the dirt up.

We don?t think that describes you, but neither do we see a reason for you to look into your friend’s background.  Friendship is not something to tamper with.  Her example as a person and the warmth of her light should be enough for any true friend.

Wayne & Tamara

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers,  PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com .

I no , eloping doesn’t exactly fit in with “wedding planning”, buy I decided to put it here  anyway . Me and my husband decided to elope and we have never regretted it.

Years ago, eloping was rare.  Couples who did elope usually did so because the union was against their parents’ wishes, or because they decided to get married on the spur of the moment.  But today, many couples who would be expected to have a traditional wedding are opting to elope.

Eloping is still somewhat misunderstood.  Here are a few reasons why couples might choose to elope:

* To save money - Traditional weddings tend to be very expensive.  Even the simplest wedding with a hundred or so guests can run up a bill in the thousands.  Eloping, on the other hand, costs much less.

There are travel expenses involved with eloping, but couples who elope often spend their honeymoon in the same place as where they wed.  Many wedding destinations offer wedding packages in which accommodation, the ceremony, meals, and perhaps even the travel are included in one price.  So when compared to the average wedding ceremony, eloping is a much more economical option.

* Because they don’t want a big wedding - For those who have been married before, a large wedding may be the last thing they want.  Even those who are getting married for the first time may not like the idea of saying their vows in a church full of people.  By eloping, they don’t have to.

* To avoid stress - Planning a wedding can be an extremely stressful thing.  You have to secure locations for the ceremony and reception, decide on decorations and attire, write a guest list, and much more.  Even with a wedding planner, there are lots of decisions to be made.

Eloping is much less complicated.  When you don’t have a lot of guests, there is no pressure to pull out all the stops.  Your wedding can be what you want it to be, not what everyone else expects it to be.

* Because it’s romantic - Some couples dream of getting married at a beautiful location, with no one but the two of them and an officiant witnessing their commitment to one another.  There is an air of romance associated with eloping, and for some couples that is precisely what attracts them to it.

Keep in mind that just because you’re eloping, doesn’t mean that you can’t have any wedding guests.  More and more couples are running off to get married and inviting close friends and family to come along with them.  This is known as a destination wedding, and it offers all of the convenience and fun of eloping with friends and family to share it with you.  Many resorts offer packages for destination weddings as well.  So the couple can pick up the tab for that, and all the guests will have to pay for is their travel.

Eloping is no longer something that you do because you have to.  It is a legitimate option for those who aren’t interested in all the trappings of a traditional wedding.  Eloping is less expensive and less stressful than planning a large wedding, allowing the couple to concentrate on their love for each other.